Dear Joan and Jackie, how do you pick up farmers?
         Rosie Mudd, Albuquerque, NM

Jackie: Around the waist, Rosie.
Joan: Yes and always before a
          big meal…never after.
Jackie: Yes, always before the
             main meal of the day.
Joan: It always works!

Dear Joan and Jackie, when it comes to cucumbers, is bigger really better?
                   Lester S., Davenport, IA
Jackie: Yes!
Joan: Yes!

Dear Joan and Jackie, I'm tired of the “waste management” business and am looking for a new line of work, say, “farming.” Any advice?
                       Tony S., Newark, NJ
Joan: How big is your waist?
Jackie: Stripes work well for me,
            Tony, but no belt.
Joan: And no Lycra.
Jackie: Whoever invented Lycra
             should be shot.
Joan: Amen.

Dear Joan and Jackie, my hubby is a produce broker with a wandering eye.Any suggestions?
                              Betty Dickman,
                          Santa Barbara,CA
Joan: An opthalmologist should be
          able to help.
Jackie: Or how ‘bout a pair of real
            dark sunglasses?
Joan: You might talk to him about
         getting a real job while you’re
          at it.